The skewed outlook of reality
Published by Pyrofenix under Main on May 27, 2005I have a couple of friends who’s reality seems really skewed compared to my own. I haven’t decided who’s outlook is fucked up. If it’s me or them. Growing up, my family had very little money to spend on the luxuries in life….things like cable tv and (on one occassion) a place to live. It was really tight. During a period of a couple months I remember living in a delivery truck that my dad owned (you know - the trucks that the UPS guy drives). At the time I thought it was great fun…it was like camping all the time. We had a little Coleman propane stove and cooler. It wasn’t for a very long period of time but I think that’s where my views of reality started getting twisted. I remember one day, going to a convenience store with my mom. I asked for something, I forget what but something small like a piece of candy.
“Tim, mommy doesn’t have a lot of money and we need to get bread and milk. We can’t get that kinda stuff.”
I didn’t put up a fuss and whine, just said OK. I never minded ‘window shopping’ anyway. After that, I dont recall asking for anything that wasn’t a sort of necessity. It would always piss off my grandparents whom i’d stay with on the weekends all the time! They would go shopping and we’d go into the toy store and i’d walk the aisles with my hands in my pockets. If something caught my eye, i’d stop and look at it but never remove my hands from my pockets. My grandparents would ask me if I wanted them to buy it for me and i’d say, “No thanks.” and continue walking the aisle. My favorite toys were Matchbox cars….they were cheap and kept me entertained for HOURS.
As I got older, I kept this trait and was always a hard person to shop for around Christmas or my birthday. I got my first job as a paperboy even before I could drive. Eventually I was doing 2 routes every morning - one in the expensive area of town where I made excellent tips. As long as i’ve had a job - i’ve paid my own may as far as all life’s non-essencials, even my own car insurance and gas.
Is this not normal? I seem to get quite frustrated when people talk about how they are coasting through life on their family’s finances. I work very hard to provide myself the things I have and when someone is given those same things (or better), I get this feeling that my work is trivialized. I mean, I work for it but someone gets it so easily doesn’t it mean that my struggle is less impressive? Only thing that is worse than that is when they get those things and then feel the need to complain about some minor aspect of it.
K, i’m done ranting - have a great extended weekend!
